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i had the most devastating interview yesterday..
that i took the bus home in silence on a pouring night..
i couldn't sleep when i closed my eyes..
i went to a shopping mall but i lost my appetite..
so i took the same bus back home..
and slept.


i felt so stressed that i..
had a nightmare last night..
of armies of people chasing me, and i belonged to another army of people running away..
it was horrible.

Maybe i should reject the offer if i should get it.

If my 'job' was going to be this stressful,
i probably don't get any time for socialising and knowing more friends..
and i will not be able to find a guy for myself then...

And what if i am forced to further my studies into something i totally have no passion for?

I never walked out from an itnerview feeling that i am going to put myself into hell before.
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