Jumper

Today i started off having a bad mood, it's nearing the time of the month i guess. But I try to turn the table. And it turned out to be.. well, not too bad. still learning the ropes of working, attitude, perseverence, being receptive, being reliable, being confident, being mature... trying to be. And I really try to put in alot of effort in seeing my flaws, evaluating them then and there, and thinking of ways which I can improve. Like a positive feedback system. And I am starting to see the many interesting ways a human may grow, if we expose ourselves or subject ourselves to such circumstances. By growing, I hope to be a better person, one who can overcome one's weakness and is constantly improving. But of course, by maturing, can we then see what qualities we had, or we once have, when we were naive and oblivious... those qualities, I try to keep too. Cos they are precious to me as well. And because we can understand why some qualities do take time to develop, we can be more forgiving towards others. Why am i saying all these.. it isn't what I want to talk about. Back to the topic... some one secretively passed a message to a messenger to give me job contacts in the morning.. and I am totally surprised by this act. Whoever the person is.. I am utterly grateful to you.. and I am utter grateful to the many (I dun know how many) people out there who have been caring to me and helping me in ways which I may be oblivious to. I don't know how to thank you, cos I don't know who you are. But I want to thank you. It isn't everyday we come across people who are truely nice and sincerley concerned about others, and although I said nothing after i got the message, because I know I had to keep this a secret inorder to protect ur confidentiality, I had been thinking about this opportunity the whole morning. Thanks alot! And I think I know who you are.

The day went by smoothly, after the menacing craziness yesterday, I think today was a relief. And at almost ending work time, I received a call from a close friend about catching a movie together as we had planned the night before, i told her i could not make it on time, but work ended early..so I called her again and said let's go, and she detoured. I am really apologetic about such an off-beat, off-the-cuff, unplanned, on-the-go kinda attitude, but I really hate to plan for things too long into the future. I kinda like to go with my mood, and do things on impulse... cos i derive greater satisfaction from doing what I wanted to do most at that point in time.. I don't know why. And I am lucky to have a friend who would tolerate such stuffs... and so we met like in 30 minutes and caught Jumper, after snacking at stuffs from Cheers. Jumper was way exciting.. too exciting for a movie-novice like me. I was shreaking half the time when there were action scenes.. though my friend remained relatively calm throughout the whole show. OK, and I get to see why so many girls like caucasian guys.. I see why now.. hahahahhaaaaaaa. But I seriously think it was exciting, though a little violent and cruel at some parts. And what happened to the jumper friend in the end who got stuck at the cables?

And after the movie, I walked out feeling sleepy and dizzy from all the sitting and shreaking... we walked to the traffic light to get to the bussstop.. and my dear friend decided to part with me since I am walking to the busstop further up. some friend right? But from the traffic light, I did not notice anyone following me, until i crossed the road and walked to the building.. and got stopped by this guy who looked like he was going to ask for directions but hessitated for some time... this unknown/chinese/guy said he noticed me talking to my friend at the traffic light and wanted to be friends with me ...I got a shock and stuttered when I was trying to say no. Late at night + alone walking at a dark street + no one around + NOT VERY SHUAI = No. And after the incident.. I was so afraid he would stalk me or trail me home.. Why didnt I notice someone was following me all the time? Man....I had to be more alert the next time round, and look out for followers...this is too creepy.

Am I the sort of person who would make friends with a stranger just like that? Maybe a cute dude. hahaa. And rejection didn't look to embarrassing just now... maybe I should try it the next time i see a cute guy. I don't know.


*****************************
Today, I learn about being concern about others.

呕...

原来是这样子的

i'll be loving you..

And on Valentine's day,
I was walking up to the 5th floor food court to get some time away during lunch.
And as I was waiting on the escalator, the concourse was blasting this very song
as clear as it could possibly be like when someone was singing solo up on the stage with his guitar
it sounded so close
I don't know what song this is
but i know ' if you get there before I do, don't give up on me. And between now and then, i'll be loving you, love me.'
And I was so touched.



and I didn't know,
the lyrics goes like this:


I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said boy you might not understand
But a long, long time ago
Grandma’s daddy didn’t like me none
But I loved your grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then ‘til I see you again
I’ll be loving you, love, me

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I’d never seen him cry in all my 15 years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then ‘til I see you again
I’ll be loving you, love me
Between now and then ‘til I see you again
I’ll be loving you, love, me


***********************
..love me




*oh man, close to tears.

true

and alittle bit more about


and I did walked around abit yesterday
after work
cos it's valentine's day
alone though
and get myself drowned in shopping malls where love songs croon
and flowers seem to be everywhere
i mean, it's ridiculously every where.
3 lines.
and someone said that was bravery,
for he would hide at home, and he did.
ha.
some bravery it was, to face the truth that you are still alone on such a day yea.
it is the truth!
it is true.


***************************************
I've waited all my life
to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
So i will not hide
it's time to try
anything to be with you

This is
t.r.u.e

And I

finished my Viva today, first thing in the morning before work... and I couldn't be any luckier to get the most lenient and encouraging 'testers' to test me, ... but I could have studied more to score more points.. but the most impt thing is... I've passed! For now. The greatest step to passport, yea! there's more to come thou, but fear not.

First day of official work after my leave and break from CNY, and I severed several papercuts on both my hands... or rather, blisterpack-cuts. Aluminiums are tougher than paper.

So I decided, after my huge test today, to continue the spirit of learning and visited kino at taka to.. well....ok, to oogle at cute guys in magazines... esp CLEO for this month featuring the special TOP 50 MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS OF THE YEAR... and oh my... it was.... disappointingly disappointing. (and yes there must be such a term, I've seen similar ones in case notes up at the wards alot of time now). What's the problem? The greatest problem of all is they are not shuai enough! that's my greatest problem.. I thought the ones last year were good.. and so hence i followed up this year... I can vaguely remember a macdonald person, a bin abu bakar person, and a more can-make-it one whose name i forgotten the moment i slapped the magazine close, who posed with a side profile. I thought at least he looked the most natural, and that's the critical thing to do when shooting.. right? Pose, exude charm and try your utmost best to look natural. Anyways... I am sure one photo of my Mike He Jun Xiang, or I mean the Mike He Jun Xiang, and all of the 50 will tumble over like.... like... Dominos?

And one more thing... cover up. For clothes do make you look better than hlaf-naked.. ahaa... clothes do maketh the man, i guess.





********************************
SIGH! Are all the other cute guys camera-shy?
And I can't decide who is cuter of the 2: Mike He Jun Xiang or Jiro Wang Dong Cheng
And I am guilty of admitting that I have pondered over this question for a long long time.

For the new year|鼠於自己的年

i shopped at the very last minute, glimpsed through everything and left empty-handed cos i wasn't interested. But there were a few brands which caught my attention.. maybe I'll go back again after the new year, after my major viva on wednesday. First, there was 'The Box' which had outlets at Isetan and standalone stores at Far east and bugis... I loved the checked shirts which looked both rugged and sweet... I've always loved checked shirts esp those of the opposite sex cos i think they looked cool.. but I'm not sure if they'll work on me. Second is the 'Litmus', a clothings brand whose clothes looked over-priced, for the extremely simple and cherrful designs of t-shirts, shirts and their newly added line of dresses... I loved how the shirts were designed, the match of simple floral prints with lines and again.. checks hahaaaa. And the best is that there are matching pieces for both the guy and girl sections... one day I'll buy those when i have found my other half.. if(and force him to wear it). They are so laid back, smart casual, suitable for a walk out on the beach type of clothes. but of cos, this is by no means a hint of what I would like to do on a date.. God knows what i would like to do on a date.


And since it's nearing the time of the month, and no, i dun mean time of the month the gals way, but, actually, Valentine's day, 14 feb issit? The day when streets will be coloured with red hearts, people will be walking with blushing pink faces and hands holding and love is in the air (or love is simply the air)... it's too bad i'll have to give valentine's day this year a miss as i am sadly still single, at least happily single. And looking at how lovely my cousin was yesterday, when i came home from work to a house full of guests and met my cousin's girl friend... I wonder how is it like if I had to do what she, and most girlfriends do on new year's day.. meeting the parents, relatives and soaking into the family culture. But anyway, they look so cute tog when my cousin tried to tighten the heels for his girlfriend... and to hear that they met since kindergarten.. wow.


So. I guess I have a normal 14 feb this year, working in the day time and perhaps, walk around abit after work at night since it is one day after my viva, and soak up the festive season of love.


Reading the CLEO magazine this month is so ... erm... everything is about valentines, about guys, about clothes and stuffs.. I finally understand now, how you really have to dress up for a date and stuff.. i mean, all the planning and preparation.. i used to believe that as long as you are both comfortable with each other and enjoying the companion that will be enough already.. but i guess there must be a role for the dressing up and preparation part, 生活情绪？ And i can't deny that good-looking guys do catch my attention more... especially guys with stylish and neat hairstyles, they grab my attention at the speed of light.. hahaahaaa. But, how often do our other half turn out to be the way we fantasise about? At the end of the day, i guess, some other qualities beneath the skin must match before we say our.. I dos.


*********************
有时候顺其自然太慢了。

初一

原本是初一要值班的我
跟朋友换掉了
谁知道大叔和家人出了国过年
所以今天
没有地方去
很好
太好了
今天能睡到自然醒
穿着睡衣
吃面线
跟家人聊天鬼喉
看电视
然后打麻将
本来就不怎么会打的我
第一局就赢了
而且状况还非常不错：



新年的新衣
妈妈不批准
说太revealing
反正我自己也不怎么喜欢
只是临时应急买来的
裙子不能po上来

**********************************
春风它吻上了我的脸
告诉我现在是春天

新年快乐,怎么办？

糟了

吃团员饭的刚刚
妈妈说
给我三年找男朋友
如果没有，
就相亲。



天啊！
不要！
*****************************
什么年代了？
相亲我要帅的，哈哈。
反正那个时候年龄要结婚应该也刚好。
新年快乐。

今年的我犯太岁，怎么办？

朋友

也不知道为什么最近遇见了这个话题。

昨天，晚上搭地铁去乌节的时候门一开，就面对我很要好的朋友，跟她一帮朋友。
太夸张了。怎么这么巧？本来已经到站的我，就走回了车厢想说可以多聊几分钟，
搭到下两三个站也爽。朋友都已经进化了，而且生活都很好，能遇见你真的很开心。
希望新年我们去吃火锅的事能实现。



今天，同事朋友们都有个聚合，以前上学的气氛回来了，好想念。只要我们在一起吵，一起闹，就觉得很轻松。午饭时候，本来是自己一个人吃的，但是旁边男同事朋友们发现我了，就过来聊天。其实你们都很照顾我，给我意见，关心我的事比我自己还来得多。不知道该怎么表达我的感谢，我也因为你们的鼓励而开始相信我的实力，这么好的朋友，会让我很舍不得，当我们拿到执照的时候，需要分开的时候。会让我非常不舍得。每次我心情不好你们就会逗我开心，或直接关心我的事，(其实你们别让我感动，我真的会哭的) 酸我的庞大的胃口和不良的口味。每次遇见的时候，我也不忘酸回你们的穿着，还有那些(黄色)的冷笑话，哈哈。放工后的我们，一起烂在某某餐厅，或聚合基地，一起聊天说冷笑话，说别人坏话，谈无聊的东西。做PROJECT 越做越晚，越夜越野。很高兴能让你们看见我不优雅，丧失形像的搞笑真面目，吓到了以后就习惯了。这些，在一个月后 我一定很不舍得，如果大家能留下，如果我会留下，也是因为你们。



今天放工，又到了乌节转车回家。巴士站里，一眼就看到中学男生朋友，一个有深
刻印象的男生朋友。他好像变胖了，感觉成熟很多，象是刚从办公室回家。。不知
道该怎么开口，一半想打招呼，一半的我不想让他认出是我。 就走到一边角落，看
着他的背影。希望朋友过得很好，工作没压力(因为看见他附着头好像有头痛)，女
朋友交得好。最后，没有办法就和他搭了同一个巴士回家，因为车真的很难等，而
且他又住那么靠近。。。记得中学时候，我们也常一起上学放学。。。记得他的
‘不见不散’让我担心他因为等不到我而迟到，也因为‘不见不散’引起了许多事
故。中学时候，不知道为什么觉得很不平凡，但是也是我很珍藏的时光，无论发生
过什么事。中学时候，记得我很自由，也很跟朋友做过疯狂的事。。。哈哈。最后，
朋友下车了，还是认不出是我，。。希望我跟中学时候的我没有太多改变，应该没
有。朋友下了车，走在街边，朋友多珍重。



********************************************
I'm happy our paths did cross.
看见我们 昨天拍的搞笑照片，
我更舍不得。